My Absence

     "So I haven't been on Facebook that much recently, just enough to post a few picture and that's about it. I have however seen a lot of my friends posting about their first weeks at college, moving in, and everything else. I'm doing something similar now.

     Let me start by apologizing to the people who I may not have contacted as much - or at all - in the last few weeks as I normally do. People say college is a busy time and that couldn't be more. I've been getting ready for classes, hanging out with my roommate trying to figure out what to do away from everyone I really know, meeting new people, and dealing with drama that's already come.

     I'd also like to thank multiple people. First my brother, I can't thank you enough. You helped stop a panic attack going up the mountains, even when I was starting to freak you out. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done and how much I already miss you.
     Mama, thank you for not only being there for me, but my new friends. You always open your arms to my friends and "adopt" them, along with being there for me. I may have found it cheesy when you mailed me a care package, but I loved it and still do.
     To my best friend and sister, thank you for being there for me even when I don't respond to text. Thank you for being my sister. Thank you for being the amazing person you are. No one could ever replace you.
     Finally to my roommate, I can't tell you how glad I am that you're my roommate. You are awesome in so many ways and make my days interesting.

     I knew I liked it up here when Mama and I visited, but I've begun to fall in love with Penn State. I truly enjoy my classes and the new friends I have."

     This is what I posted to Facebook and has the same reasoning to it as to why I haven't been blogging. I hope this explains somewhat.

Nude Movies

      Has anyone actually seen the movie? I've heard from various sources that it's a good, if not great, movie and to watch it. The thing is, no one told me how much drinking, drugs, nudity, and sex the movie has. So my suggestion is not to watch it with someone who you don't feel comfortable with enough to watch said things, or peek on the movie at said times. I was in the room with someone watching the movie and would look over at their screen, bad move on my part. What did I get to see? Leonardo Dicaprio - who I might add hasn't aged that well - snorting drugs, fucking his movie wife, and multiple other things. I like Dicaprio and I get it's a movie, but still seeing him fucking anyone on screen is a bit much for me.

      So my review, I'm sure the movie is good and has that potential, but not at all a family movie or for the weak of heart.

A Sleeved Police Lady, The Angry Ginger, and T-Mobile's CEO

     Tonight I was a witness in a fender-bender on the way to get to get some food from The Angry Ginger Irish Pub. There wasn't anything special about the event, a Jeep mistook a green light in another lane for his and went forward and hit a truck. We stayed to be witnesses for the police and moral support for the girl in the truck, who had come down from Virginia and knew no one in the town. Anyway, to the part that I found entertaining and pretty awesome: one of the police, the lady, had a sleeve and was just fucking great! Along with the sleeve, at one point she was trying to get the men in the Jeep's attention, even flashed her flashlight at them - they didn't even see. When they failed to pay her attention she turned and mouthed "OH MY GOD". It had to be one of the funniest things I'd seen today, and probably in a while. Beyond that, the whole event was routine.
     With that we headed to dinner, had a nice meal, listened to people say "fuck" multiple times within a breath, and got out of the rain. Oh, there was also a lady trying to push what little chest she had a good two inches in front of her legs, so that was entertaining.

     On another note, I have found out that the T-Mobile CEO has a love for T-Mobile Chuck Taylors, he even offered all his managers a pair, and calling out Verizon Wireless and AT&T on his Twitter account. Check him out, he's pretty funny.

     I also learned that I don't really know how to fill out a witness statement. When I went to write the statement, I was about to describe it as a story, not solely the facts like I was meant to.

Boys of Zummer tour

     Last night I went with my best friend and mother to one of the Boys of Zummer shows. There are many things to say about it and in actuality the show didn't live up to my expectations.

     First off it was hot and sweaty and something I completely expected from a hot Summer day in North Carolina. Once things got started - which involved meeting Fall Out Boy since we had VIP tickets thanks to my mom, they were my birthday gift - it was okay. As part of the VIP package you got a meet and greet, a photo, a signed poster, Pit tickets, and a slightly earlier entrance to the amphitheater. What I didn't realize was that the meet and greet and photo were combined, so you basically said hi to the band, got your picture, and left. Meeting Fall Out Boy was awesome, but I would have liked more time to talk with the band. Luckily we were first to get our picture taken, so we were able to get first in line for getting into the pit. Once there we were immediately pushed together and couldn't leave without chance of having our spots taken. Before anyone else really got into pit there was room and everyone was calm. Later DJ Drama came on, he was okay, but not the great DJ I was expecting him to be. However he did interact with the crowd and get us pumped for the acts to come.
     While Max was not originally part of the tour, he did come on and sing three songs. Damn that boy is hot, plus he can dance! Now he is someone I will definitely pay to see, possibly even VIP again. Max was like the energizer bunny, consistently moving, smiling, and overall having fun on stage.
      Up next was a guy who I didn't know what to expect from, Hoodie Allen. He came on and jumped around a bit, definitely interacting with the rest of the guys. I knew he was a rapper, but I didn't know I wouldn't be able to understand anything he said. He's good but I think I'll stick to his music videos.
     The one that surprised me the most had to be Wiz Khalifa. Though he was fucking high the entire time, even smelling like weed, he had incredible stage presence and an amazingly good message. I may not have known all of his songs, but the ones I did know I couldn't help but sing along. Wiz also looked like he was actually having fun, though part of that might have been a side effect of how high he was.
     Lastly was Fall Out Boy. This was my first concert with them and I had high expectations. Needless to say, they weren't all met. They came on, performed, interacted some, spoke little, I sang along with everyone else, they left, came back for two encore songs, and left. It felt like there wasn't much going on except for the singing. The heat had a big impact on the band, Patrick at one point stopped to fan himself, but there was multiple things they could have done better.

      In the end, the show was alright for my first big concert, the DJ was alright for between sets - though the photographer's cameras entertained me more - and it truly felt more like a Wiz Khalifa concert than anyone else. Altogether the concert and people/bands were great.

      Fall Out Boy is still my favorite band and I fully intend to go to many more shows.

The Lost

Within the past year my high school has lost two students by suicide.

      Crystal was not someone I feel comfortable saying was a friend, she was in my homeroom and a person I might talk to. However her best friend is a wonderful person who is very dear to me. Crystal's death hit her so hard it was unimaginable. To make matters worse, Crystal died on her birthday. I spent the next week watching the person I consider my best friend at school hurt to no end. She would miss days, leave class to go to the guidance counselor's office, and just refuse to talk to me or anyone. I wanted so badly to do anything for her, but I knew with all the attention she was getting from others and how she reacted, she just didn't want it. Each person handles death differently, and she just needed space from everyone, which she wasn't getting.

      Time went on and Crystal's funeral came and went, slowly my friend began to cope and come into her normal self. I know it's still hard for her and with Crystal's anniversary not too far away, I can only hope to help anyway I can.

     Hunter wasn't someone I saw regularly, he was in my mother's math class but that was about it with my interactions with him. While I didn't know him, his sister was in my English class and we would talk from time to time. His death came especially hard to some, less than a year since Crystal, during exams week. Hunter was a great friend and important to those around him, he will be missed by so many.

      No one will truly know what Crystal or Hunter were thinking and what lead to such measures. And because of this the school has shown a video to the students of not only the principal telling them how important they are and they will always have someone to speak to, but also about suicide itself. Death cannot be stopped, but it is always possible to help those around you. If you feel depressed or are thinking of suicide, please try to find something/someone to help.

This is my view of the events of what happened that year, it does not reflect the views of anyone else.

Musically Living

    Have you ever listened to an interview of your favorite singer or band on youtube and heard the musicians who influenced them, then looked those people up for their music? For example, I'm in a very big Fall Out Boy faze right now and I've been listening to interviews they have done about their music, influences, and just random things. One of the things they are continually asked is what type of music they listen to and during what time/mood. Because of this, I just can't help but know that the main vocalist, Patrick Stump, likes to listen to Earth, Wind & Fire. Then, out of curiosity, I looked up Earth, Wind & Fire to see the what they performed and how they sounded. Let me just say, they wouldn't be my first pick of music. It's not that they're bad, they aren't! I just prefer songs like Reflections by MisterWives or Ghost by Ella Henderson right now, and that will probably change in a few weeks or so. My taste in music depends highly on my mood and the beat of a song. Being the proud Latina I am, sometimes I really need an upbeat song like Bailando (Spanish Version) by Enrique Iglesias or a Shakira song like Loca. Then there are other times when I need Fall Out Boy and possibly Set It Off songs to help me with a bad day, but then there is also a time when I need to calm down and I'll listen to songs like Money On My Mind by Sam Smith.
     Wow, okay. I just listed a ton of bands/singers and songs. I'm a very complex person and it can be difficult for not only me, but those around me. So thank you for listening, well reading really, my little rant.

The Normal Exception part 3

     In honor of yesterday's events, I thought this part could be about how weird my body can be (and I don't mean that in a sexual way). Starting last winter my knee decided to swell and hurt to the point I had to stay in bed a few days because I couldn't move it or anything. Within a week's time it was fine again and I didn't really worry about it again, until I went with my school to a trip to D.C. for a day. The trip passed without too many problems, that was until we got to the mall - which was our last stop before heading back - where it decided to swell again and got so bad that I had to have one of my friends piggy back ride me to the bus. And M. being the jerk that he is, only held my purse for about ten seconds before handing it off to T. The return trip wasn't bad, I just couldn't really bend my knee and had to stretch it out in the aisle.
     When I got back home, it was okay, but the next day it was getting worse and worse. In the afternoon I finally gave up thinking it would magically get better and asked my mom to take me to the hospital for them to take a look. After waiting for a while, it was the E.R. what else can you expect, I was taken back for the nurses to see if they could figure it out and then for x-rays. The doctor came back to say that they saw floating cartilage behind my knee cap. I was sent home in a knee immobilizer and 800 mg of ibuprofen. What the doctor didn't know - I wasn't even given the chance to tell them - is that I've become immune to pain meds due to the amount of joint and back pain I constantly have.
      It's pretty well know around where I live that if you have something wrong with your bones or the like, you go to a doctor about an hour away. He is the best as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, following the local hospital's diagnosis, I scheduled an appointment with the orthopedist. I went down there, and the doctor said that nothing was wrong and that everything looked asymmetrical. At the time my knee was actually starting to heal again and I knew it would be fine in a few days. So we left with the intention of going and getting a MRI done should my knee continue to swell and hurt. With how annoying my body can be, my knee got better and I didn't need to have an MRI done, so nothing really came from the visit.
     About the second week of January my knee once again began to swell, only this time it was much worse in both size and pain. That night I went to the E.R. again, I had x-rays done only this time they didn't say anything about floating cartilage, nor did they see anything. This happened on a Saturday, I believe, the following Tuesday I went back down to see the orthopedist. The doctor there, unlike anyone at the hospital, saw something on my knee, a bump I guess you could call it. He thought it was worth taking a look at, and his next day just so happened to be when he would be doing surgeries. So the very next day I went back down for knee surgery.

One thing they don't really tell you about surgeries is that the anesthesiologist doesn't like for people to eat or drink or just have anything in their stomach before the procedure just incase they get sick and have to throw up. This meant that I couldn't eat anything after midnight.

                                     To say I wasn't in a good mood was an understatement, I was tired, hungry, and very upset with pretty much everyone. When the hospital called to say they had a time for my surgery, we were already on the road down there and at that point I just wanted to hurry things along so I could eat afterwards. Well, since this was my first ever surgery I also didn't know that you had to take EVERYTHING off. Meaning I thought I could stay in at least my bra and underwear. Boy was I wrong. You have to take every little piece of clothing, jewelry, anything you had on off and put on the stupid dress the nurses give you. My mood went from bad to worse when I found out that little piece of wonderful news. But wanting to get better and no long have the pain and trouble with my knee, I did what I had to. So I changed into the dress, was covered with a heated blanket, and had socks but on my feet (O.R.s are actually supposed to be really cold to keep them clean).

       The anesthesiologist came in with one of the nurses to explain what was sorta going to happen and how I was going to be put to sleep. Another nurse in the mean time put a very large IV in my arm which would do its normal job along with administer the anesthesia. (On a side note, I am a diabetic who was diagnosed at the age of 17 months. When I was about four I began a long period of time where I was absolutely terrified of needles and to this day I still can't watch when I have to have my blood drawn of have large shots done.) And let me tell you, that fucker hurt. The anesthesiologist continued to tell me that the anesthesia would probably be administered through the IV and then once I was under I would have a tube put in my throat to help me breath. I wouldn't remember it, most likely, and would only come out with a sore throat. As I've mentioned, I'm somewhat immune to pain meds, so I brought up the subject to the anesthesiologist who just said that the medicine or drugs they were giving me were very strong and I don't have to worry about it. She then reassured me by saying if there was a chance it wasn't working the mask they put on me could be used to give me added knockout meds.

       With that, the orthopedist came in to ask me if I was ready and then wheeled the bed and me out of the room and on my way to the O.R. My last memory of before the surgery was being asked if I could help the move my body from the bed I was in from the original room onto the bed of the O.R. After that, I was out like a light. The next thing I remember was waking up in so much pain that I wish the nurse that had woken me up had just left me asleep. I immediately began to cry, but it wasn't like I could do much since I was still under the influence of the anesthesia. The nurse could see I was in pain and asked me, just be sure I guess, and all I could do was nod. I was given some medicine as my mom came in the room. She came over to hold my hand and try to help me as much as she could until the meds kicked in. The nurse mentioned that the pain would go away in about half an hour or so, the time seemed to last forever yet at the same time fly by without me being completely free from the anesthesia effects. 

      Once the meds did begin to take effect, it was like I was being pushed out of the hospital, literally and figuratively. I had the okay from the doctor and the nurses so a lady - I don't remember her name but I do know she was a volunteer from her name tag - wheeled me out front where my mother had the car ready for me. We left the hospital and went out to dinner at LongHorn, since I really hadn't had anything other than some goldfish they gave me when I woke up. Let me tell you, dinner was great thanks to those meds. The waiter was a nice, handsome guy and kinda funny. When my mother asked if the butter was real, he replied yeah it was, it had a picture of a cow on the front. To a non high me, that would have been 'haha' funny, to on a pain meds high me, well let's just say I laughed not only for a good five minutes, but also each time he came back to the table after that. The trip back home wasn't nearly as exciting, mainly because I spent the hour or so asleep. This is where the story gets boring...got home...went back to sleep...woke up every four hours to take more pain meds...went back to sleep.

     Now let me tell you kids - or adults - oxycodone, the pain meds I was taking, can be good for the first couple of days, but after that you feel like shit. See the doctor tells you to take them for as long as you need to. What they don't say is that after the pain in that part of the body is gone, you don't need the meds anymore. Oxycodone doesn't help with surface pain, just deeper pain. So I thought, well my knee hurts from where they cut it open, let me keep taking the meds. Well, the first time I had to go back to the orthopedist to have the gauze changed, I screamed my head off and didn't talk the rest of the day. However while we were there the doctor told me I could take more than just one of the pills, so again at this point I was medicated, I thought great now maybe this pain will go away. Not! All it served to do was make me feel like I had to throw up, I couldn't eat, and just overall felt like shit. When the doctor did tell me that the meds don't handle the surface pain, I decided to take myself off of them. Less than a week after my surgery I was off the oxycodone and getting back to feeling like my normal self again. 

     At the beginning of this post I said it was going to be in honor of what happened yesterday, so what did happen yesterday? Well instead of closing the cut after the surgery, the doctor decided to keep it open so he could check on it and make sure it wasn't infected. Now every three to four days I have to go back to see him so he can rip the gauze out and replace it. The first and second time it had to be done I screamed. I have come to realize that your knees are very sensitive places. Luckily the last two times it was better and mostly uncomfortable and just a little painful. As time passes, the cut is healing itself and closing by itself, so each time it gets repacked it is more and more shallow. Yesterday he took it out and I look and even asked, "Was that it?" Then he decided to be mean and start prodding it to see how it was doing. Like I said, it was uncomfortable and now a little sore. 

    Very long story short, don't mess up your knees. It hurts like hell if you have to have something done to them.

   Thank you for sticking with me through this insanely long post and of course if you have any question or anything, feel free to message me.